For the weapons of our warfare are not
carnal, but mighty through God to the
pulling down of strong holds…
(2
Cor. 10:4, KJV)
As this month’s topic, I will cautiously
choose a subject that is very crucial in
marriage and at the same time it is also
an extremely volatile subject for many.
SEXUAL I N TI MACY !
I chose to dive into this subject
because it was what I was meditating on
one morning before I left for work. Over
that weekend I was informed that a
fellow soldier (in
God's army)
was recently wounded and taken hostage
on the field of battle, through an
attack of the enemy, in the area of
marital fidelity. The person who
provided the information on the incident
had the correct initial response, to
PRAY!
But, then I heard a comment that kind of
rubbed
my
spirit the wrong way. can understand
why
the person said it, and it's not to say
that the commentary was in the least bit
inappropriate. I realized that I was
just looking at the situation from a
different point of view, just as they
were.
The comment, in short, was an immediate
note of pity for the un-convicted
spouse, and a bit of disgust for the
accused. I opted to use the word "un-convicted"
here and not the word
innocent,
mainly because the comment had ignited a
series of thoughts in my mind, which
lead me to this writing. And so, I would
like to share a few of my thoughts with
you.
I remember reading a passage from the
book,
HE-MOTIONS
written by Bishop T.D. Jakes, (J.P.
Putnam's Sons, New York, 2004), which
carries a major understatement for its
subtitle, "Even Strong Men Struggle". In
the introduction of the book (on
page 4),
Bishop Jakes mentions a very powerful
story about the fall and restoration of
Rev. Jim Bakker, (the former head of the
PTL Club) after his personal and very
public struggle. He used a very
effective anecdote about a man who loved
exotic fish. This passage caused me to
consider my own personal feelings and
experiences. The story goes as follows:
"This man kept a large fifty-gallon
aquarium in his apartment and enjoyed
watching the myriad rainbow of fins
flashing within his miniature ocean.
Since the man traveled often for his
job, he equipped the aquarium with
state-of-the-art mechanisms, which would
automatically clean the tank, release
food, and keep the water temperature
constant. Once, however while he was out
of town for several days, the man
returned home only to discover that he
had not adjusted the thermostat on the
aquarium. The water had over heated and
killed his beloved collection of exotic
fish. In his grief over the loss, the
man imagined what the fish must have
thought and felt as the temperature rose
and the water became hotter and hotter.
"Did they scream in silence? Did they
beg for someone, anyone, to turn down
the temperature?"
And so, I was initially very disturbed
at this person's response, because my
question was this: As a man of God who
has also had to fight daily through the
minefield of sexual immorality, was the
person crying out for help, and nobody
noticed? Did anyone hear him, and try to
adjust the temperature of the heat
rising in his life? Was his wife able to
hear,
and
understand
his cry for help (because
both are required for proper
communication),
and if so, how did she respond? When he
tried to compliment her, did she receive
it? When he touched her, did she
respond? When he asked her to wear
something special that he would like to
see
her
in, did she continue to wear the
“lumberjack dress" nightgown, made of
the hideous plaid wool material about a
halfinch thick? Was he constantly
greeted home with rollers and nightcap,
sweatpants and sweaters? Was he able to
communicate his needs to her freely,
without her feeling pressured and
getting defensive? Because of his
upbringing, was his only learned
response to her defensive attitudes
constant feelings of rejection, and
abandonment? This in itself is a
limitation for most soldiers.
Now that this soldier has fallen,
everyone hears it clearly and
immediately blames him alone for not
being more careful, or not being strong
enough to resist the temptation simply
because he is a Christian. Was there
anyone there to hear him cry for help
before the fall? If so, did they pray
for him, with him, support him, offer
help to keep him accountable, or did
they just wait for him to fall and then
talk about him afterwards? Will there be
anyone spiritually mature to restore
him?
“Dear
brothers and sisters, if another
Christian is overcome by some sin, you
who are godly (spiritually
mature)
should gently and humbly help that
person back onto the right path. And be
careful not to fall into the same
temptation yourself.”
Galatians 6:1 (NLT),
I am not only writing this because of my
own personal feelings on this subject;
the Bible speaks to this situation
explicitly.
1 Cor. 7:1-5 (KJV)
Now concerning the things whereof ye
wrote unto me: It is good for a man
not to touch a woman. [2]
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication,
let every man have his own wife, and
let every woman have her own
husband. [3] Let the husband render
unto the wife due benevolence: and
likewise also the wife unto the
husband. [4] The wife hath not power
of her own body, but the husband:
and likewise also the husband hath
not power of his own body, but the
wife. [5] Defraud ye not one the
other, except it be with consent for
a time, that ye may give yourselves
to fasting and prayer; and come
together again, that Satan tempt you
not for your incontinency.
Man (the
entire human race)
is under a spiritual attack, but
specifically
men
have a unique mark on their backs
because the enemy wants to destroy
the seed (at
every stage of life).
Married
men especially seem to yield an even
higher bounty on the battlefield,
because of the power of unity.
Satan tried to strike the head of
the church to get the entire body to
fall, but he failed miserably. So,
if he strikes the head of the
household, maybe the family will
fall, if he strikes the family the
community will fall, if he strikes
the community the city will fall,
then the state, and then the nation,
and so on. Eventually, no one will
respect the body of Christ, or
marriage, and no one will have hope
that they can be delivered. But
Satan is a liar, and he is the
father of lies!
There is power in unity. When one
Christian fights the war against
Satan and is joined with another
like-minded Christian helper, there
is a weapon created in the spirit
realm that no mathematician or
scientist can ever figure. (See
Ecclesiastes 4:9)
Jesus also told us that where there
are two or three gathered together
in His name,
there He is in the midst, (Matthew
18:20).
We need one another to fight sexual
temptation. This is not just one
man's fight; it's
your
man's fight. It's your son's fight,
it's your father's fight, and today
it may be your daughter, mother,
sister, or even your fight. We all
have to fight in order to protect
our families and restore the "Heaven
on Earth" experience that God has
intended for us to experience.
I write as a man who has struggled,
and have served time through tours
of "every
man's battle"
with sexual temptation, lust, and
pornography addiction. It was only
through the grace of God, the Blood
of Jesus, and the help of the Holy
Spirit that I was able to emerge
with my soul intact. But even now, I
have to continue to fight daily.
That is why I sound this trumpet to
prepare you.
We often read the account of Jesus
being tempted in the desert, out of
habit we say, "For forty days". The
Bible never tells us that Jesus was
only
tempted for forty days, and then the
temptation was all over. Read
Luke 4:13 (NLT),
When the Devil had finished tempting
Jesus; he left him
until the next opportunity came,
or
left him until a better season.
Do you know when the next
opportunity for you will be? When is
your guard usually down? When do you
have to pray and fast the most to be
strengthened and restored? I can be
real about me, I know that my season
is the spring and summer time, when
the ladies decide that clothing that
properly fits, does not satisfy them
anymore. I have to pray more, fast
more, and try desperately to
communicate to my wife that I need
her help even more! I need her to
cover me!!!
YOU KNOW YOURSELF! STAY ON GUARD!
FIND SOMEONE TO HELP YOU TO BE
ACCOUNTABLE! BE THERE TO HELP
SOMEONE ELSE WHO NEEDS YOUR HELP!
Do you think that we can escape
temptation just because we are
Christians? Jesus
IS
the CHRIST and could not be excused
from being tempted. Hebrews 4:15 (NLT),
This High Priest of ours understands
our weaknesses, for
he faced all of the same temptations
we do,
(lust of the flesh, lust of the
eyes, and the pride of life),
yet he did not sin.
