For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds… (2 Cor. 10:4, KJV)

Would you purposely light a fire in your living room? Immediately most people would respond, NO, of course not, that would be crazy. I say yes I would. I respect the power of fire, but I also understand the purpose of a fireplace. I would be comfortable lighting a fire in my living room, because I know there is a special place and a boundary created specifically for me to enjoy the warmth of a fire.

Sex is very powerful. (Proverbs 6:27 (KJV) reads, Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?) It has brought many people to their knees, in the Bible days, and even today! But those people are only destroyed if they didn't repent and pray while they were on their knees. Anything you do not understand the purpose of, you will abuse. Ask God to teach you the purpose of sex. Study the who, what, where, when, and how's through the Bible. If you contain sex to the proper place and respect its power, you can enjoy a healthy fulfilling marriage bed, which is holy and hot!

Hebrews 13:4 (KJV), Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whore mongers and adulterers God will judge. The word tells us that whatever a husband and wife do in their bedroom is holy (unless it is specifically prohibited by scripture, if it is mutually agreed upon, and does not involve anyone outside of the marriage) It Is Good! We should not judge what married people do in there own bedrooms, and for the unmarried people, God says He will judge them; it's not for us to do.

Guys, we can't MAKE our wives do anything that makes them feel uncomfortable. God is a gentleman, and will not force his will on us. So we must be gentlemen as well, and not force our will on our wives. Forced love is still a form of molestation. Get to know your wife (get to know yourself), study her (study yourself), learn about woman's body (learn about a man's body), respect her, and cherish her, and have patience with her.

(1 Peter 3:7 (KJV), Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.) She is not weaker, in the same context as inferior, but as in fragile, valuable, like a costly vase that you would handle with care. Most husbands have no clue about the deep dark pasts and intimate issues that his wife may have gone through in her childhood that she still needs to be healed of. She needs a comfortable and safe place to come out, and to be restored. Husbands, are we offering our wives a safe place to come out and rest?

When we don't do these things guys, God is not obligated to help us, so we can't pray- "Lord Make Her Do It! She has to respect me; her body does not belong to her Lord!” Waaaa, Stop crying, and you do what the word says! We all may know what the scripture says about a certain thing, but that does not override our wills. When my wife "ministers to me", and shares her gift with me- I say "thank you". Why? Because no matter what the Bible has to say, that doesn't mean that she’ll do it. But because she wills to do it, I appreciate it, and I tell her so.

Through all of this, am I saying that it was the wife's responsibility to always have sex with her husband just to please him, and keep him faithful? No, not at all. But I am saying that she does play a major part in it. Remember, 1 Cor. 7:5 reads, "Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent / for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency".

In other words, don't wrongful or fraudulently withhold what is rightfully due (as in a officially authorized debt) to your spouse, except for when it is agreed to, for a period of time, and when you are fasting and praying. Paul says to come together again (recreationally) that Satan tempt you not for your "incontinency". The word literally means lack of control.

BUT WAIT! It does not mean lack of control in the way people might think. Remember, you should not be ashamed of your desire for sex with your spouse. God intended it, and created you to need it, desire it, and receive it. Paul tells us that marriage is a gift, and singleness is a gift. Singleness is not for everyone. Some have a gift to be single, but if you are not single, you can't live life as if you were. So if you are married, Marvin Gaye said it best, "You got to give it up!"

In this case, "lack of control" is meant in a way that a person does not have willful control of their physical functions, as when a person may have a weak bladder. They have the mindset to want to control themselves, but they are physically unable to. What do we call that, incontinence! So it's not always that the person does not want to control themselves, (not giving an excuse, because sex outside of marriage is still a sin) but when we do not give ourselves to our spouses, there has been a door opened, and the enemy has been allowed to creep in and cause havoc.

So husbands and wives, just as Teddy Pendergrass used to sing, "Close the Door!" (Come on, you can laugh, you all are too deep and spiritual for me. Those singers didn't make all of that money off of me alone. I only bought 1 album. I didn't make the whole industry rich by myself).

So now, the next question is, for how long? What would be a good frame of time reference? Well, I'm glad you asked that question. In the area of finances there is a very important formula used to help you figure out how long it takes for your money to double if it is saved at a certain percentage rate. It's called "the rule of 72". Well I submit to you "the rule of 72, for marriage".

If your spouse is beginning to look sad, forget simple things, and they start acting a little strange. If they have lost their smile, their eyes are glossing over, their creativity, and their enthusiasm is waning - Go check the calendar quickly! Why? I'm glad you asked me that question too? Because, if it has been more than 72 hours since the last time you have "ministered to your mate" you need to recharge their batteries, (and yours, whether you know it or not)! Sex is good for you!

Play the Song of Solomon game, play Adam & Eve, Jungle Love, run through the house buttnaked, I don't care, but do whatever it takes to protect your spouse, your marriage, and your family! Because 1 Peter 5:8 (NLT) warns us, Be careful! Watch out for attacks from the Devil, your great enemy. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for some victim to devour. Will you be the one to protect your spouse, or are you preparing them to be eaten alive? Let's not leave our brother and sisters out there to be eaten alive. Pray for marriages and families to be RESTORED!

When you get home, or when your spouse gets home today, turn off the T.V., put the children to bed early, help with the dishes, or whatever it takes to redeem the time, and prepare your mind. Give them a kiss; look them in the eye, and just say, "Cover Me".

Father,

In the name of Your Son Jesus, we pray that husbands would love their wives, and that wives would submit to their husbands according to your word. We desire that every door that the enemy has used would be closed, and that we would no longer give place to the devil.

We pray that you would come into our homes, into our living rooms, our bedrooms, and wherever you find division and bring unity. We grant you access into our thoughts and ask that you cleanse and renew our minds that we meditate on your Word, and what your Word says about the institution of marriage, and about our personal marriage relationship. You created it Good. There are no bad marriages, only people who allow bad situations to grow within them.

Help us God to be naked (spiritually, emotionally, and physically), and not be ashamed before our spouses. Please heal the hurt, bind up the wounds, and make us anew. We humble ourselves under your mighty hand, and we give you the glory for what you are about to do in us, for us, through us, and to us. Cover our homes, and all that you have entrusted to us.

In Jesus' name we pray, AMEN.